mawiage

It's a sad day when I have the bikini line that's been shaved and is growing back in itch.... not because I shaved to be sexy for my hubby but because I had an ob/gyn appointment this past week. I could have made a fur lined parka with my leg hairs....

That's just gross and sad!

the crying game...

It's a good thing that things come in three's... that way I can cry once and move on!

1. My hubby broke my heart
2. My daughter's dog is eating my puppy that I love dearly and I have to give her up
3. I have a great friend who told me how wonderful I am

Work In Progress

So I had this brilliant idea and finally sketched it out on paper....



Then we started our work in progress. This was all for my kiddo so dang right I made her help!!!! She is waaaaay over painting after doing her room.... She picked a bright orange and green... it turned out way cute.




Now I am off to go get her dresser and bed so I can put those together and then move her TV into her wall unit and then start building the other half.... yes, I chose to do this :-)

So far so good!

Well I have to stuck to my deal so far...

I started building a wall unit thing for my kiddo today. We should have it done, painted and put up tomorrow. I will post pictures. This covers my doing something for someone else and myself. It will be a great sense of accomplishment.

Also I went to my best friends house on the 1st and we weighed in so the workouts begin tomorrow! I will start with walking my dogs so I can wear their butts out so they stop dog fighting!!!!! I swear!

Happy New Year!!!!

I have resolved to do one thing a day.... and with the new year and new resolution, I am going strong today!!!

Today I took down all the Christmas stuff and put it away for my Grandmother.
And I blogged...

I was thinking doing 1 thing for someone else and 1 thing for me but that may be a little much to take on... but for today, I did it!

I wish all a great and prosperous New Year!

Voice Mails from the Edge....

A month or so ago, my brother broke his computer. Since I lost my job this past summer, I don't have access to parts and such so I have been doing what I can when I can. Mind you, this was a computer that I had given to my brother (for FREE).... My brother also doesn't work and just sponges off my mom (granted she lets him which ticks me off also....) So here is the string of voice mails that I received and the incidents that have led up to them...

Wed. morning around 8:30. My phone rang but I was in the shower...
VM from my brother:

"Computer!"

yep, no hello, no good morning, no thanks, no please.... story of my brother....

Wed. 1:30pm the phone rings and it's him but I choose not to answer it because I have a million things going along with the fact that I was working on another pc for him and his earlier vm ticked me off....
VM:

"Sis this business is booming and I have a million emails that I haven't checked and I really need to get in contact with people about my business. I can't do anything because I am waiting on you!"

Wed. 3:00pm I am really not answering the phone because I was taught that if I didn't have anything nice to say, don't speak!
VM:

"some common courtesy as far as I was brought up means that if you own a cell phone you will either answer the damn thing or you will return a call within 24 hours. Just thought I would gives you a heads up on that deal."

Thurs. 9:39am Aparently my mom said something to him about me being under a lot of stress and what he did was wrong
VM:

"hey sis I just want to tell you that I love you and am on your side. Anything that I can do to help you is what I would like to be doing. I would like us to be on the same page. This business that I opened up is booming and I can't do everything by myself because I would like you to be my friend and partner on this. We can be grabbing cash like everyone else is doing.

Brother and sister teamed up. I would really like it if you and I got along a little better and do some of the stuff like friends do and accomplish goals. I know you are inteligent and are capable. I don't know what you think of me but I know that I am inteligent and capable as well. I can tell stories about everything that I have set my mind to do I have done that.

It's booming and there is money to be made. These advertisements show a full staff. I'm not going to sit here and judge them but they aren't as cool as us. It doesn't take a bunch of cash to get this going. I don't know why they are able to do this. People want to buy medicine no matter what. It's like alcohol. I would like you to jump on board and help me out. Help us out. We need to have a niche in this before it gets out of control.

I wish your spirits were up. I love you. I'm your brother and we won't always get along but I love you."

My take on it is he is only in contact with me now because he needs something. Side note, he has blown up at the family before and NEVER has apologized yet I have witnessed him saying sorry to almost strangers countless times. We as his family OWE him everything.

5:30pm I didn't have my phone on me because I was at a holiday party for my husbands work.
VM:

"hey there is a city council meeting tonight at 6. Want to go?"

This is for his medical marijuana stuff which makes my skin crawl. If you indulge, I don't care but I don't and the last thing I want to do with my life is surround myself with a bunch of junkies! This entire thing is also a sore spot with me because he has my mom's house overran with strangers and plants, etc..... she lost her sanctuary...

Friday morning 8:54 am Aparently my mom said something to him again....
VM:

"Hey sis you can't demand an apology from somebody. I don't even know what I am supposed to be apologizing for. I have been sitting here trying to get ahold of you and you are ignoring me so that. So if you don't think that is causing a problem what the hell. I don't know what I am supposed to be apologizing for. You know me, I would apologize if I were in the wrong. But because you are my sister and I love you I am going to go ahead and apologize. With you being silent, I am not getting any wiser on what I am supposed to apologize for.

So you need to quit playing a game and talk to me if you want to be my friend. If you don't, you are still my sister. But you are putting a lot of uncomfort here and it's not my deal. This is your stuff.

I apologize now WHAT AM I APOLOGIZING FOR??? (This is in caps because he was screaming)"

Do you ever think....

that "God" gets bored with all the idiots in the world like we do and turns His attention to the 'strong' to see how much they will actually put up with????

Hellllllooooooo

It's been awhile.... what have I been up to? Absolutely nothing!

I got laid off back in May and have zilch to show for it except a new favorite song and video.

Don't laugh.....

Artist: Christina Aguilera

watch it before you judge too quickly :-)

Song: I got trouble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh_V1zLsj_4

Meeeeeoooooooow!!!!

Professional women ... they disgust me!

So I chose to change my work location because of a few crazy men and now I am in a building where the women are cold as ice!

We are all in our 30s so why is it so hard for them to be nice? I have been here for 11 months now and they have refuted all my attempts at becoming friends, or at least friendly. The literally sit 20 feet from me and I pass by their cubes at least 4 times a day and they NEVER say hi or smile back at me. WHY? I almost thought I had made a breakthrough one day when the 'leader of the mean girl pack' needed some help from me. I helped her right away, and she smiled at me for about 2 days and then it was back to normal. I know they have the capability of being nice because I hear them laughing with each other all day long.

Oh well.... I guess it's back to putting my headphones on :-(

My New Plan

1. Begin right where you are. Walk for 20-30 minutes a day, 5 days a week for weeks one and two. (I can do this!)

2. Remove the following from your diet: Late night sugary snacks (even that 1 little cookie that I sneak in before trotting down the hall?) and all fast food meals (I only want them when I can't have them and now I REALLY want Jack-In-The-Box).

3. Add the following to your diet: 12 glasses of water a day (done - no problem except maybe on the weekends, I will have to work on that!) and slowly increase your fiber intake to 40+ grams a day (thank you Benefiber!).

4. Increase your protein intake. Eat a portion of protein with every single meal.

5. Measure your food portions using the fist method. No portion shall be bigger than your fist. If it is, reduce it. Does that include the side salad? Or can I have that also but just in fist size?

6. Eat real food. Protein shakes have their place, but whole food is unprocessed and needs your body to perform its digestive and delivery process. WAHOOOOOOO

7. Weeks 3-7 doing a minimum of 30-45 minutes walking 5 days a week.

8. Increase your meals to four a day. Spread them evenly over the day. No bingeing. I will most likely already be doing this...may have to increase to 5 being 4 and 5 are more snacky anyway.

9. Eat your first meal within 45 minutes after you wake. Be sure to include protein.

10. By week 4 you should be 10-15 pounds lighter, depending on your water and muscle composition, without having to join a gym.

11. Week 5 join a gym. Have a trainer demonstrate some basics. Alternate upper and lower body workouts for 3 weeks. YMCA here I come! I am thinking about spinning classes at 6 also...but I love my pillow!

12. Weeks 9-12 combine upper and lower body workouts into one streamlined workout lasting no longer than 45 minutes.

13. Gym tip: move quickly through your exercises even if you have to lighten the load. This creates a cardio effect.

14. Weeks 8-12 walk for 45-60 minutes 5 days a week. In addition to your gym workouts.

15. When you feel like quitting or eating something you shouldn’t, compare the short-term gain against the long-term pain. This helps you stay in the game.

Keep perspective. This program will slowly get you ready to make huge weight loss progress over a short period of time. That’s what you want, to start slow and then rev yourself up like a high performance racecar.

Follow this program and you will surely lose 35 pounds in 3 months. PERFECT!!!!

Fortune Cookie my A$$

So, my grandmother takes us out to Chinese food one last time before I start my diet - no not diet - before I start my lifestyle adjustment.... and my fortune cookie is handed to me by the waiter... not left on the tray for me to have the fate card draw me to it... but he hands it directly to me. It was almost like a moment that starts one of those silly movies. Something that happens but you don't notice it until your world goes haywire and you can track it back to that very moment. I almost think he winked at me when it happened... but not until I read what it said.

OK keeping in mind, that I am already feeling overwhelmed in my world of all the things that I haven't done and that I should be doing (mainly because it is a new year....) my fortune reads:

Compliment 3 people every day

Yes it is something that I should do anyway. and I think that I may do at times but now.... but now... it is part of some craziness like I am not already doomed because I don't forward those blasted chain emails to 7 people in the next 7 minutes.....

ahhhhhh I should be thankful that my plate is full....

From the mouth of babes... I mean grandmas

Well not most grandmas.... just mine...

Please be aware that what I am posting is very crude and verbatum from my g-ma.... she is a total crack up but says things that I would NEVER in a million years. Please stop reading (if anyone out there is :-) ) if you are easily offended...

As my g-ma laid on the table for her pre-op triple bypass she was telling us about how her normal cardiac doctor came by and was telling her surgeon on how he wants her back when he is through... so I leaned in and said sloppy seconds... huh?

and her reply... no worries, I will clean up and take a douche....

Now it's a couple of days after surgery (thank you doctors!!!!) and she is telling me that they keep coming in and checking her out (lifting her gown, checking the inscissons near her groin...) so I said well tell them to treat you like an envelope (with the intention of following up that statement by saying and start stashing cash in there) and her reply was and have them lick it?

my my my

Elated but yet bitter.....

So my dear, dear grandmother just had a heart attack and has been in the hospital for 2 days now... So my aunt calls me to book her a flight - YAY - love my aunt!!!! As I am leaving work to go visit my grandma, she calls me and asks if I can get my cousin on the same flight... sure! I do like my cousin! She's very funny!

Enter bitter: we live 1200 miles from them and we visit there often... my aunt and cousin live about an hour from each other and my cousin rarely makes it down when we visit... we always go to her if we want to see her.... So now, that my grandma could potentially be dying, she decides to come... and I can't help but think, it's to secure her spot in my grandma's mind with being there to get the material things that she wants....

Enter the struggle with thinking good thoughts: No, my cousin truly loves my grandma and just wants to make sure she sees her.... I am going to try and go with that....

Enter bitter again: My brother.... whom I haven't spoken to in 2 months because he is a total self centered ass who thinks it is ok to treat his family like crap yet raise transient lowlifes up on pedestals, pulls me aside last night and suggests that him and I get along for our grandmother's sake.

Enter the struggle: instead of me telling him, so you are not going to be a raving maniac and actually take some responsibility and not be an ass???? I just shrugged my shoulders and walked away.

Now I am at work, when I should be at the hospital.... hmmmmpf!

80's hair metal

is what I have been listening to for the last 2 days straight...

http://www.jango.com/

and it's brought back many good memories of my childhood. Like at Christmas when my mom would always get me 2 tickets to some concert that would be coming around...one for me and one for a friend... and all the cute little rocker boys at my school... and then just all the boys in general.... mmmmmm good times.....


which brings me to my little one.... who is going retro for Halloween and is dressing like she is from the 80's.... an era of long before she was born.... wow

where did the time go? which then brings me to the things that we talk about and the things that she tells me... all things that I would never in a million years tell my mom.... or would have even had the courage to tell my girlfriends at the time.... gotta love her!

Booooo Humbug

I am tired....

of trying to figure out what to be

and what everyone else needs to be

and how they need to be whatever it is

and what the plans are

and how it is to be executed

and it bums me out because I love the holidays!!!! I am at the point where I don't even want to dress up and go to the annual party tomorrow night.... maybe it is because I am always the designated driver and no one ever says, Honey, tonight it is your night....go crazy, I will take care of you....

Blech!!!! I would rather stay home... I don't relate to those people anyway....

Yesterday was the first day...

that I haven't cried since I had to put my faithful pup to sleep.

15.5 years old... it was so sad.... ok.... so today is a cry day....

12:34 and 5:27

Those are the times that I always see when I look at a clock....

but for the last week, it's been 11:11 - day and night...

do you think that is supposed to mean something???

Cell Phone Fiasco

Nothing is ever simple.... one of my children lost her cell phone last week.... no big deal (first time any of us had done that in 4 years)

So I watched the online billing to see if anyone was using it... no one. We had searched for it high and low in the 4 blocks that we knew she had lost it... couldn't find it... Called it several times, sent it text messages, etc... nothing. So being payday, I go to call in an insurance claim on it but then I thought, let me check the billing one more time...

AHA!!! Someone had found it and had made several calls on it.... so I look to see who was called the most and I dialed their number. I explained the situation to the gentelman on the other end and he started yelling at me! "...I am 75 years old and I can not believe that you are accussing me of stealing your phone!!!!" So I said, no sir, someone who has Found our phone has used it to call you, would you happen to know who it could be? Needless to say, I ended that conversation very quickly.

Next #: Let me let you talk to my wife... Hi Becky, (insert explanation here)... Becky then says, oh I have no idea who it could be.... I am the only one in this neighborhood who has a phone so there are about 6 families who always use mine. Ok so moving on.....

Next #: (Insert Story here) And as I can tell, the last time they called you was Sunday around 8:00 pm.... do you have any idea who it could have been? his reply "no, I didn't recognize the number so I didn't answer it... in fact, you are lucky I answered your call...." ummmm ok, well sir, the call was 4 minutes long.... "well maybe they left me a voice mail. Can I check it and call you back?" suuuuuuure

30 minutes later I receive a call from Joseph.... "yah, I found your phone by the bus terminal downtown... but I don't know how to use it so I couldn't find you...." (30 phone calls later....uh huh and with contacts in there like Mom, Dad, Home.... uh huh) Anyway, we arrange to meet at 3:00 in front of his apartment complex.... So I took a friend with me because something didn't seem right....

3:00 in front of the apartment complex... no Joseph. I spoke with a few ladies outside do you know Joseph? "is he hispanic?" ummmm I have no idea.

3:07 inside the apartment complex where Charles was just getting a flu shot informed me that Joe was just up at his apartment 5 minutes ago.... but he "don't know which apt. is his"...

3:08 a lady in the hall with her dog on a hot pink leash asks who I am looking for. She knows he is Sophia's nephew and that he lives on the first floor but Sophia lives on the 3rd floor....

3:09 the russian? maitenance man gets involved and starts talking about the Joe that lived on the 2nd floor... however she informed us all that he died.

3:12 all of the above are looking at the marquee trying to guess which place Joe lives in....

3:15 we all surmise that he is hispanic and was wearing a white t-shirt.

3:17 decide to leave... when another woman that had came in while we were leaving came back outside to ask us what exactly was going on. (insert explanation here) Then she starts going off on how stupid everyone in the building is and brings me back to the lobby and dials Joe's apartment... "Joe - you have people out here that you are supposed to give a cell phone to.. (Joe says "what? I can't hear you")....JOE, get out here, they are waiting on you!!!!!"

3:18 thank you ma'am!

3:21 still no Joe

3:22 the lady with the dog says go on down to his apartment.... I don't move because it's down a really creepy hall...... but she insists and drags me down there with her and her dog. Knock, knock, knock..... she's gone.... thank goodness my friend was there.

3:24 My friend give an authoritative knock....

3:25 Joe opens the door.... ohhhhhhh yeah.... he says hold on and disappears... but comes back with the phone!!!!! WAHOOOOOO

3:26 Thanks! Here's a $20......

Friends and Favors Don't Mix

So, I have a friend who does hair.... and she kept telling me that she needs to do mine... so I let her and it all turned out ok. So my child goes to her and all has been ok... so my sister decides to go to her. Now keep in mind, she always shows me what the salon would charge but has always said, just do what you can, because we are good friends... so I have always paid her salon charges plus a very little bit more.... so my sister goes to her and I told her to give her a $20 and I would pay her the rest.... well my sister didn't communicate what she wanted very well so she ended up having to go back and have her re-do it a few days later.... so I take my friend an additional $80 this morning (for what I could have done to my sister out of a box....for $8.95) and I get an email that says....

I guess things are tough for you, too. Won't be at the show saturday and not working the rest of the week. No transportation.

Now I know she is having a hard time because her car got impounded but that is not my fault and I did more that what I thought was a fair price.... anyway, enough said and it's time to call my old hair dresser....

The Panic of a Teenager

so starts my day..... a text from my child who is supposed to be in class....

"hey mom can u bring me a backpack (insert our dog's name here) peeed on mine"

next text

"and bring it now plx"

next text

"but wait here so i can give u this one"

next text

"Plz mom"

next text

"Thank u so much"


So dutiful mom shows up at school, has her called down to the office and it was all worth it to see her embarrased little red face, giggling all the while, with a hug, a kiss on the cheek and a comment from her that said... "thank you mom, I love you and have a great day"